I have been preparing my semester projects summaries today; its an odd feeling to look back and see what you have learned, how far you have come. This is double for me; this is the last bit of work I have for FSU. Aside from a quick presentation/Q&A session tonight in my Collection Development class, and submitting this report for Virtual Reference, I am DONE. Completely done. Diploma is in the mail and all that.
This has been 2.5 years of my life--evenings, weekends, projects squeezed in at work in quiet times at the circulation desk....its done. No longer will I be the stressball running out of preschool, racing home to put in two quiet hours of schoolwork before I leave for work (and then work until 9.) I will time to visit my friends again, time to talk on the phone, time to setup playdates for my little people. Time to relax and smile rather than rush off to work on another assignment.
It has been hard, but I have had a lot of help. FaveSpouse, my mum and my sister have put in some serious kid-watching time for me. They have cheered me all the way. We did it. I did it.
But...now what? (I know, how sad is this that I am not celebrating.) I carved out such a big space for school, and now without it there is this huge gaping hole! And honestly, I am not sure I KNOW how to relax!!!!
But....other changes have been good. I went from a SAHM to a REAL librarian! I am hugely more confident now, I am ready to argue knowing my opinion is important AND I already have a job in my field! Three years ago I would have never predicted this future for myself--but its a good one.
But...the loss of identity is tough too. When I left the computer industry after the dot-bomb (and to stay home with the kids) it was really disconcerting. I had no real deadlines and a VERY ACTIVE baby to care for. It was hard. And here I am again, loss of identity.
Maybe its time to have a beer and pick up a new knitting project!
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